Here at the Happy Home for Monsters we offer a service like no other. Is your imaginary friend getting too old for you? Is your pet vampire needing a home after it bit you? What about a werewolf? Have they stopped changing through the moon cycle? Well here at the Happy Home for Monsters, we have just the place to house those monsters of yours. Monsters of all shapes and sizes can stay at our home.

Today we are going to be taking you on a tour of our facilities so you can meet some of the monsters staying here. While they might look cute, they aren’t available to go home with anyone. We will be going through the entire “home” as we like to call it, and you will be able to see just what our monsters do every day. You’ll see the food they eat, the kind of exercise they get, and the all around day to day activities they get up to.

If you take a look, here is our cafeteria. We serve all assortments of different foods daily, right now in fact, we are serving human for lunch and deer for dinner. All the werewolves go crazy for human, but don’t you worry, you are not on the menu. The vampires have to have whatever food we are serving fresh, that way they won’t drink dead blood and die quicker then sunlight can take them out.

If you come this way we’ll go into the kitchen. All of the staff here are fairies, as we are a species that’s very business orientated. We can be very hard business owners, in case you didn’t know, and we sometimes kill our staff if they talk out of turn too much. The fairies here serve food with big bags around their wings, as you can see. That’s because fairy dust is very toxic for some monsters here. You can see the monsters are preparing for todays lunch. I know some of you are human, so you can look away if you please. Anyway lets get out of here and into the main hallway.

If you look to your right, you’ll see a bunch of monsters engaged in some yoga. There’s a vampire over there named Bernard. He does yoga with a full suit, tie, and cape on. It helps him feel the undead burn a lot better. Oh and look over there, it’s a wendigo trying to stretch his cannibalistic body as far as he can reach. His name is Lenard, he’s a wonderful father to two girls long into their 50’s now. Wendigos only live to be about 80. On another part of the tour, we’ll look at monsters in our hospital wing, where they sleep and hang out in their rooms.

This way, you’ll see we have a pool for our water creatures. Mermaids, Nessie’s, Sea Nymphs, and one of the Krakens runt. The Kraken died out many years ago but that didn’t stop him from reproducing in women who were sacrificed to the creature. I know some of you are humans who haven’t seen a monster in your entire life. I see we have a Minotaur in the group. We don’t see many of you, as your species was almost wiped out by the Wyverns. I would love to have a chat with you after the tour, if you wouldn’t mind.

Anyway enough of that, lets go to the flying room. This is also called our sports room, but its mainly used by the dragons, including Wyverns. They like to play by pushing a ball into the air and using their noses, or hands to shoot it across the room. We constantly have to keep supplying new balls, because the dragons will throw fits and burn the balls when they lose. Here we can see them playing now, it looks like the Chaldean dragon team is winning. You can tell he’s the team leader because he’s the most aggressive, and he’s waving his tail around to indicate to the other dragons how to play. They’re so much fun.

It’s time to go into the first wing of the hospital. We house monsters of all ages. The children are usually with their parents, while the older monsters go in this first wing. Now which door should we go into? How about 204. This houses a woman names Marie. She used to be a very happy and healthy, but unfortunately she got scratched by a werewolf and that got rid of all her powers as a vampire. We had to remove her fangs as they were becoming a problem with the staff. Its very dangerous for a fairy to have her life force sucked out through a wound. Lets talk to Marie,

“Hello there Marie, how are you doing today?”

“Get me OUT OF HERE! Please, I don’t want to be here anymore.”

Well it looks like Marie needs a little time out. We will go back to our original tour now, maybe we could pop over to wing three and see the children.

“What did she mean by that?”

“Minotaur, I’d suggest you move out of the way. This is the reason why your species was wiped out. You’re too hot-headed and stubborn.”

“I will not move from this door till you tell me what she meant.”

“Fine you want to know what she meant? I’ll show you.”

This is my world. The Happy Home for monsters doesn’t exist. It’s all a jail for the worst  monsters out there. My little pets. Now you seven will be included in that. You can struggle all you want, but any of you that move will be eaten alive by Cthulhu.

And you across the screen. You will be by my side till the day you die, and even then you won’t have respite. I like you, and for that you shall be my pet. This is what you get for being human. I don’t care what your name is. You will be mine dear reader.